How do you say "In Yo' Face" in Presidential Candidate-ese?

Ha ha.

Based on the early evidence (and isn't it weird that both parties are allowed to spin the outcome of the debate to their sides, shouldn't it just be judged as a stand-alone piece), Kerry kicked W's ass. Even conservatives were afraid to say that Bush did any good because they'd then have to be tested for stupid genes. Oh, wait, conservatives don't believe in that gene therapy stuff.

I mean, the best W could come up with was telling people being president is "hard work" and Kerry "flip-flops"? Even following Kerry's nuanced (oh, that's become a bad word in the Bush administration) explanation on the method Bush & Co. employed to start the Iraq War is what he disagreed with, they still tried to fault the guy and, on "The Daily Show" afterward Rudy Guiliani sounded like your old, senile aunt who can't remember if you're a boy or a girl. He even kept going back to the flip-flop thing, as Jon Stewart tried to help Rudy redeem himself.

(This dialogue is an approximation:)
Jon: Well, don't you think Kerry was saying he didn't agree with the way we went into Iraq?
Rudy: No. He just wasn't being consistent.
Jon: Well, I thought it sounded like he said that, yes, Saddam may have been a threat but we should have exhausted every possibility diplomacy-wise and inspection-wise before our pre-emptive strike.
Rudy: Well, Jon, here you have a candidate who wants more allies on our side but is saying we're doing the wrong thing. What's up with that, bro?
Jon: Okay, what are you doing even talking about the debates? You were mayor of New York and suddenly became Expert Numero Uno because you were in office on Sept. 11? I think you should go back to sweeping up Times Square.
Rudy: John Kerry is inconsistent. I like New York. And cheese. Consistent cheese. Where am I?

So, anyway, in the next two debates, John Kerry should give us more of the same so that we as a nation can have something vastly different from the last four years.